Going down the wrong way on a one way street

More than a year after getting my P license, I'm still a menace on the road, terrorising drivers and pedestrians alike. I thought I'd improve, I really did. But.. honestly, the only good thing that can be said about my driving is that it's always interesting.

I thought the horrors of my driving experiences was at its worst during my driving test days. You know.. the whole taking the test three times before the guy got sick of my whininess and let me pass, driving into the drain, arguing with my invigilator and being kicked out of the car.. The list just goes on and on.

Or perhaps I'd seen the worst when I committed a myriad of driving felonies on a 5 minute drive with mel. Accidentally accelerating on reverse instead of forward, beating a red light cos I thought it was green (I swear it was green when I looked!) and driving on the wrong side of the road. Ahem.

But no. Oh no. All that aforementioned incidents, that was boring, says Fate or God or Karma or whatever that's taking control of my driving experiences. My driving escapades have to be much more eventful ! I was made to be a terror on the roads. A few days ago, I drove my brother out to buy lunch and the most awful thing happened to me.

It happened at the inner lane facing Restaurant OK, Jasema Enterprise, bla bla blah in TTDI.

I was driving out, passing Restaurant OK and then Jasema.. you get which direction I'm going in right? And then, there was a right turning, which was where I wanted to go, because I just wanna go home !!! Then I see a huge ass sign saying no entry at the turning. The round red signs with a white dash across. So I say, all in my head, "Drat! Now I've got to go on straight and make a big round!"

So I go on straight. Thinking to myself all the time, "How odd it is to have another of the same red no entry signs on the other side of the road.." Before I have time to process this new information, I see .. a Car. Heading towards Me. From the Opposite. OMGWTF ISN'T THIS A ONE WAY STREET ???!

Sudden flashes of images in my mind. Two red no entry signs + one way street + car heading towards me = HOLY SHIT THE NO ENTRY SIGN MEANT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GO STRAIGHT, I WAS SUPPOSED TO BLOODY TURN RIGHT!!!

It was a very narrow road. With double parked cars.

I panic.

I wail at my brother.

Who is two years younger and cannot drive.

I wail loudly.

In a shrill and panicky voice.

I THINK I SHOULD'VE TURNED RIGHT! I DON'T THINK I'M GOING THE RIGHT WAY! OH. MY. GOD. WHAT DO I DO NOW? HELP ME! HE'S COMING AT ME! HOW AM I GONNA PASS? WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOO???? IT'S A ONE WAY STREET!!

I pass by the guy's car. Without a scratch. He was decent enough not to honk, which was very kind of him. Or he didn't know it was a one way street. Or he was too shocked.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

And start wailing again.

NOW WHAT DO I DO??! I'M STUCK, I'M FREAKIN STUCK!!! THIS ROAD IS GOING ON FOREVER!! WHY ISIT SUCH A LONG ROAD? HOW AM I GONNA GET OUT??????? OMG WILL I HAVE TO DRIVE THE WRONG WAY ALL THE WAY BACK?? WHAT DO I DO??

Brother ignores me. Then he points in front, "Hey isn't that your friend?"

I look up. Still panicking. And I see Melvin crossing the road in front of my car gaping at me with shock. I laugh hysterically and speed off.

The End.

rys

Has it really been 3 weeks?

Just a quick post, cos I have 10 minutes to spare! It's been nearly 3 weeks since my exams ended, and my blog is way overdue for an update. I don't know why, but I can't seem to get into the routine of a consistent blogger. I somehow tend to update a lot suddenly, for a few days, and then my blog dies, until I feel the need to write again. Maybe it's cos there are too many things I can't say here. I'm not quite sure how to write about personal things, or my feelings, without making it abstract..

Anyway! I got back from Cherating last Thursday (the 25th). I had an amazing time there, and I miss the beach already. It was so much fun!! I don't have any photos yet, so I will blog about it when I do get the photos.

I thought I'd be free after my finals, and I thought wrong. I've been SO busy, I haven't had any "me" time! Busy in a good way though. I'll just summarize what I've been doing these past 3 weeks. It was prom shopping right after my finals (obviously), and then EL with my bff, pool party at suyee's, and on the 14th, prom itself! (Prom was just wonderful, though a certain someone, who would've looked dashing in his tux, was missing.) The prom after party was.. interesting. (Something involving prostitutes and staring competitions)

After the most hectic (but fun-filled) weekend ever, what with EL and prom, you'd think I'd have been sleeping for at least a month. But no, the morning right after prom, I woke up to about 3 or 4 sms-es asking me out. In fact, the only reason I woke up was to answer my handphone which was ringing incessantly. Don't these people need to sleep??? It's only a few hours after prom yo!

I can't quite remember everything.. but I think I went for a movie marathon at yingxian's, and then, dinner with nat & yl. The next day, my baby was done with his exams, so we celebrated by.. er... vegetating on my couch. And playing Pacman, I think. Then, came the weekend, where I went out somemore, and left packing till the morning of the trip. Spent the 23rd till the 25th in Cherating, so I came back on Thursday, went to hibernate, and a few hours later, was up for partying at MOS! But.. there was some miscommunication and I ended up not going, which was ok! Cos I got to spend the night talking to mel anyway. Wish I could've been there with yl though!

And then, I said my goodbyes to Kenny and Li An on Friday. We (plus Raja, mel and Yi Feng) met up for lunch at SS15. Went for a concert themed Made 2 Love at GTPJ that same night. It was cool! Went out somemore during the weekend (was at OU yesterday with melvin for the MJ tribute).. and... what do you know, it's Monday already! And almost 3 weeks have flown by.

I'm going over to mel's now and he's going to teach me how to play guitar! He's teaching me Hotel California, cos it's the only song I want to learn. He says I should learn an easier song first but I'm being stubborn and annoying and I insist on Hotel California!

rys

Do fish drink water??!?

Okay, so, today I was lying on the couch with my feet on mel (I always do that. It used to annoy him. I think he got over the lack of cleanliness of my feet on him, cos he doesn't protest anymore) And suddenly, I remembered something that had been bothering me since the night before! And who better to ask than a guy who was in the science stream and actually learned something?

By the way, we were talking about aquariums. He told me he used to have fishes! Then I asked him how big his aquarium was. (Bout the size of my computer table) And then I asked what kind of fish he had. (Goldfish and guppies) And then I asked WHY goldfish. (Ask my mum lah! *annoyed*) And then I asked if his fish committed suicide by jumping out of the aquarium. (No wth) Mine did, by the way. (He said the fish didn't like my aquarium) And THEN, I asked - DO YOUR FISH DRINK WATER ????????????????????????????????????

And then he gave me the wtf face and replied, "No", in the really duh, what are you stupid, kind of tone. SO, I said, "but I always see the fishes open and close their mouth!!!!", and promptly proceeded to imitate a goldfish. Then mel said, in the tone that insinuated he thought the answer was obvious, "The water pass through the gills and bla bla blah lah". I can't remember his answer okay. Something to do with gills and fish NOT drinkng water. I didn't listen cos all I heard was that .. FISH DON'T DRINK WATER!!!

Still unwilling to believe that fish don't drink water, I asked, "Won't they get dehydrated?" Mel gave me a second and more scornful wtf face, saying incredulously, "They. are. surrounded. by. water." So I said, in an annoying tone, "Hmph. You don't drink water see can or not. Next time you feel thirsty, go and take a bath lah. See whether you get dehydrated or not." Then Melvin also dunno what to say already. Not that I convinced him of my point, but more of the fact that he was rendered speechless due to the absurdity of my comment.

No wonder I always see them open and close their mouth but they never get bloated and explode from continuous water consumption. While I was trying to wrap my brain around the newfound fact that fish do not drink water I fired more questions at him. Do lizards drink water? Yes. Do cockroaches drink water? Er, yes. WHAT ABOUT EELS??? DO THEY? Er.. no. Yes? No?? I dunno!!!

Okay, so anyway, I stopped obsessing, we moved on with life, and melvin breathed a sigh of relief. Then suddenly, after typing out my previous post, I decided to google it! Cos this afternoon's interrogation wasn't enough to satisfy my curiousity. And...

OMGWTFBBQLARHBDBWDBUCBWHSWHHDHAIHBDUABLFISHDRINKWATER !!!!!!!!

"Freshwater fish do not actively drink water, but absorb the water through their skin and gills. On the other hand, saltwater fish do actively drink sea water. Their gills process the water and take out the salt."

FISH DRINK WATER! THEN WHY MY AQUARIUM NEVER RAN OUT OF WATER?? (Were my fish freshwater??) Saltwater fishies drink water!! Do they get bloated up and explode??! Why freshwater fish don't drink water but saltwater fish do? Why God didn't make them the same??? I mean, it's not like girls need to drink water but boys don't need..

By the way, I got really excited when I realised only saltwater fish drink water, cos maybe fish only like salty water??? Then I read the last part. "Their gills process the water and take out the salt." So disappointing leh. Fishes would be MUCH cooler if they only like salty water.

Omg, I desperately want to call mel NOW. But .. I don't think he would like to be woken up at 2am just to find out that saltwater fishies drink water. But but but.. I want to tell him !!!!!

Wah. They may drink up the whole sea wei. Luckily fish bodies don't have much space for a lot of water.

rys


Ps. Please tell me at least SOME of you also didn't know about this? I'm feeling very excited, and at the same time, unknowledgeable. (Btw, I don't like fish.)

Pss. I was actually from pure science. Obviously, mel's high school years were more productive. (Although he didn't know that saltwater fishies drink water! Hah!) (Though, in his defence, we were talking about aquarium fishies.. which I now presume are freshwater fish cos I don't remember putting salt in my aquarium)

Psss. I know that 'fishes' and 'fishies' are wrong okay. Shoo!

I'm not jaded, I'm just... worried.

Somehow, I've always had a tendency to over-think things. (That's where all the really long posts with no pics come from) Well, I think.. I'm just chemically built to overanalyze. Maybe it's easier - and happier - to not worry, to not go through every single 'what-if' you can come up with. But, the way I see it, you have a chance to block out some of the hurt, if you think incessantly about what-ifs. (But it also makes you die younger. See, this is why I always said I wouldn't ever be old)

And, I think, I NEED to overanalyze. Because, if you leave things be, trust one hundred percent, and stop worrying, then the problem(if one exists) is given an opportunity to manifest and morph into a full-fledged I'll-wreck-your-world-and-show-you-hell-on-earth kind of disaster. And it'll sneak up on you and one day you wake up and your life is a great, big, disgusting mess. So, the incessant worrying and the what-ifs prepare you for the day when your world will fall apart - the day you're screwed over. And that's why, I can't not worry. Coz I'm worried I'll be blissfully unaware and then I'll wake up one day wishing I didn't.

rys

Exams make me really grouchy and I just want to slap annoying people

I sat for the fourth and final paper of Law today, Tort Law, as well as Sociology 3 (which is my only Socio paper cos I'm not retaking AS.) And now, I feel a great weight lifted off my shoulders. Exams are almost over and done with; I have only 2 papers left, both Literature.

Of course, Literature is no more easier than Socio or Law, but it's still a great relief to have only Lit left. That's cos, now I can focus on studying Lit and Lit alone. It's so annoying to have to study for 2 subjects at one go. It's like, I'll be reading Socio and then suddenly I'll panic cos I should be studying Law too and really, which one should I spent more time on, when I feel like I should be studying both at the same time, which makes me wanna be an amoeba so I can split myself into two, but then again, amoebas are stupid and I don't quite want to be an amoeba, and really, what would an amoeba be doing enrolled in A Levels??

Yes, I know that amoeba debate made absolutely no sense. Yeelian and I have gone cuckoo due to exam stress and over-nerding. We were on the way home today when we saw a helicopter, real close. And I mean, real close.

Me: Ooh lookie!! Helicopter!
Yl: Wowww...... helicopter.......

*both staring at helicopter*

Me: It's really close...
Yl: I don't think I've ever seen one this close before........
Me: Me too...

Now, imagine that conversation in really awe-struck voices.

Anyways! The point is not amoebas, nor is it helicopters! What I'm trying to articulate here is, I'm glad I can focus all my remaining energies on just one subject. Bout 10 more days till finals are over and done with. I can't seem to stop daydreaming about post-10th of June days.

Honestly, I am going mad here. (As can be deduced from amoeba debate) I'll be halfway eating dinner, really nice dinner!, like La Bodega spanish tapas, and then suddenly, I'll start panicking cos I'm in the middle of my CAL finals yo! What am I doing, wasting time on trivial things like food??

And when I say things like food are trivial, it's a sure sign I'm a nut. I need to be fed 5 times a day and I live to eat. I dream of mashed potatoes and I love people who bring me good food. If someone held a gun to your head ordering you to guess correctly in exchange for your life what I am going to say next, your best bet would be "I'm hungry..." in whiny tone or perhaps, "I'm getting fidgety!!!"

So yes - I am incredibly annoyed at this sudden development of panic attacks during dinner and I have a feeling, I'll be mentally stable again soon, well as mentally stable as I nomally am, with only Lit left to study for.

These past few weeks have been a blur of caffeine, panic attacks, no sleep, no social life, nerding, wistful daydreams and horrifying nightmares. I'm so pale, you probably won't notice me if I walked past. Yes, my complexion has this unfortunate tendency to pale when I am experiencing anything negative - stress, lack of sleep, sadness, lack of food, illness, lack of going out, etc.. Stupid pale, bloodless complexion.

I have never anticipated anything as eagerly as I do the last day of my exams now. I swear. It's an obsession. I think about my 'freedom' as frequently as 10 times a day. How desperately I long for those days where coffee consumption will merely be due to my love for caffeine, and not out of necessity. Days where I can sleep without feeling guilty. Where I can be a pig and not feel compelled to un-pig myself, as long as I don't start to look like one. Days filled with shopping and food.

I really miss my girlfriends. Talking to yl today on the way home made me realise that this is probably the longest we've ever gone with such minimal contact. KL, watch out! We're going down to KL after the exams, sans male species.

rys


Ps. I really should be studying Lit now, but I can't quite bring myself to write anymore after 4 and a half hours of writing today. And I don't have anymore strength left in me to feel guilty. = =

Die !!!

I am sick !!! One day before my finals begin ! Why!!

(I can totally hear Miss Anne's voice in my head, telling me that I'm weak and I should've taken care of myself properly, with ample 'I told you so's. TT)

I dunno whether I'm sick cos of not eating (at proper times), or eating the wrong food, or an overdose of Panadol. *wtf face*

WARNING: Content below may be unsuitable for people who do not like reading about vomit.

It started off with a slight tummy ache yesterday, which progressed to a terrible tummy ache. I kept complaining to Kenny ALL DAY, fretting and worrying, cos.. It wasn't period cramps, it wasn't the kind of stomach ache where you need to shit, or diarrhoea, or food poisoning. Having experienced all of the aforementioned before, I can differentiate the types of pain ! And it was none of those. (And it wasn't appendicitis cos it was the middle of my stomach that hurt)

I kept telling Kenny (and anyone else who would listen), "I think I'm dying....." in a really morose voice. I also went around asking for pre-med students, to see if anyone could diagnose the type of death I would be dying. (The only science students I could find in the library didn't take Bio)

Anyway, after dinner I felt really ill and I was halfway walking up the stairs and wailing about wanting to go home to mel on the phone when I felt I was gonna throw up. So I hung up. And refused to vomit until I tied my hair and put my bag in the library. (So that hair and bag would remain clean) And then I ran to the toilet. And threw up.

Vomited twice more when I came home and I swear, the vomit looks like cheesy wedges wtf. There goes 9 bucks. (I'm sure the nuggets were in the toilet bowl too although I couldn't identify them)

I am sick. =(

And my family doesn't spoil me. Apparently, since I'm almost 19, and my family doesn't think I'm actually dying, I'm old enough to take care of myself. =( But I want to be taken care of when I'm sick !!! =(

So I had to turn elsewhere for sympathy. I whined to Mel and he came over after uni today to manja me. =)

And now, I have to go study. I feel worried cos I wasted yesterday being sick. Gah. Now, die also must study. Cos my finals begin at 9am tomorrow. CAL ppl, all the best yo! :) :)

rys

And I bid you adieu

Tomorrow's my last day of college. My last day as an A Levels student of Taylor's University College. I'll miss it. I've learnt so much, I've grown up , I've come so far in these 1 and a half years. (still inclined towards childish tendencies, but am on the path to maturity!) And the worst part is.. I don't even have time to be miserable about this !!!!!! (cos of exams!)


:( :(


rys

Crossroads

I used to be your favourite and you used to be mine. But you have disappointed me, and I, you. Spare me from this hatred I feel, spawned perhaps, by childish resent. Today, you walked past and didn't speak to me, nor did I speak - I left the room. And for a moment, I wished things could be as they used to be, before I was second best, and before this wall was built. But you can't fix this, and neither can I; it is all I can do to erase every single memory I have of you and numb what little feelings I have left for you - a skill I have perfected throughout the years.

-

Omg, the most exciting thing just happened!!! I needed to print some stuff, and my print quota was down to a miserable 30 cents. (This was in the Taylor's Library) In the midst of freaking out, because I really needed to print this, preposterous alternatives filled my head, followed by more and more ludicrous plans.

Ambushing some skinny guy and abusing him into printing them for me, seducing someone, call someone and beg for help (except that I left my handphone at home) all crossed my mind, and none seemed too criminal, given my state of desperation.

And then.. I remembered...

SAACHI. more commonly known as APPLES. or grandma. WHATEVER!! WHO CARES! The point is, he once told me about a magical black box in the library, where u give it money and your print quota is magically replenished!

So I found the magical black box (stuck onto a wall in the library) and gave it 10 bucks! (I tried to con it into taking my disgustingly soiled 10 bucks note but it rejected it. THREE times. Pfft.) Omg, the black thingi is so cool! You even get a receipt! I dunno why but it's really exciting. In fact, I find it so fascinating I feel like giving it another 5 bucks. (cos that's the minimum amount)

I should go print my stuff now.

By the way, when I was walking in to the library, I passed by a group of students who were talking really loudly about something stupid and saying fuck fuck fuck a lot. The annoying thing was, they were saying fuck and thinking that it was so cool to say it. "HAHAHAHA OMG, DID U HEAR WAT SHE SAID? SHE WENT LIKE, FUCK YOU. HAHAHAHA OMG SO COOL!!"

Omg, so lame!! *bitchy voice in my head, speaking to myself*

Grrr. I just find it so annoying when someone says fuck or some other equally vulgar word and then the whole bunch of friends squeal about how groundbreaking it is. I am easily annoyed. Or maybe I'm just particularly bitchy this morning. But I'm actually feeling quite happy. (cos of the magic black box)

Anyway! I was SO annoyed, I couldn't help it. My eyes involuntarily performed a giant eye roll. So I walked into the library, with irritated look on face and bumped into an acquantaince, right in the middle of my involuntary eye roll. So there he was, meaning to say hi to me, and realising that I was seemingly rolling my eyes at myself. (since I was alone) I swear, his voice was full of trepidation as he greeted me and ran off. Now he'll never say hi again and forever be traumatised by the image of a mentally retarded me.

Actually.. this is quite bad. I'm so easily annoyed, and I feel like slapping a lot of people. And this is quite a frequent feeling I get. And I don't even know them. I just feel like slapping them cos they're so annoying. Obviously I wasn't socialised properly that's why I turned out to be an I-wanna-slap-random-annoying-people kind of person. I wonder how many people feel like slapping me?

rys.

Bikini is turning her violent

That day I was at Yeelian's house, and while waiting for my mom to pick me up, I asked to see her new swimsuit. (Since she's been talking about nothing but the swimsuit ALL WEEK) She tried it on and ran around her room asking, "Does it look okay? Do I look like a stick? Tell me!! Tell me if it looks awful!.. etc." You get the point. That woman will be the death of me.

Trying to convince her that it looked awesome, I made her stand in front of the mirror and told her firmly that there's absolutely nothing wrong with her. And then suddenly, there was a very violent outburst from yl.

"Why do I look so big next to you?!! Did you lose weight?!?!?!!!!" she demanded aggressively.

=.='

I think I'm looking forward to this camp of hers. Can't wait till AFTER the camp. Bikini paranoia is making yeelian turn VERY aggressive.

rys

Rant !

WHY does Nate keep falling for the girls I hate??! I like Nate. But he's so annoying, simply coz he's into Jenny and Vanessa. And Jenny and Vanessa are SO annoying. WHY THEM?!! Nate, you can do so much better than that. (Does anyone agree with me??)

That, was about Gossip Girl. That show, is so exciting and infuriating at the same time. Coz quite a few of the characters annoy me. Also, please don't ask me why I was speaking as if the characters exist. I just needed to rant after watching episode after episode of Nate with Jenny or Vanessa. Gah! Am off to bed.

XOXO. You know you love me. =p

Easter `09

Easter Day. I'd spent nearly every Easter at Yl's church, CDC ever since .. I don't remember when anymore. This year however, about one month before Easter, mel called me and demanded, "eh EH ! Come to my church for the Easter play okay? okay??" Bewildered at his over excitement, I said, "Er. Okay." And then mel, being his retarded, cute self went, "Muahahahhaaha ! I asked you first ! Now yeelian cannot steal you !" Laughing, I just gave him the wtf face.

Well, I went for the play on Friday and somehow ended up going to church (GTPJ) with mel and his mom this morning. I don't know how, but I managed to wake up. After church, we (me and mel) went to my place and talked about his confusion in choice of career. And then we lazed around and made silly faces. That's basically how I spent easter. Making faces. How was yours? =p

We don't normally look this bad. I swear.

I wanted to see how much longer mel's eyelashes were compared to mine. And bloody hell ! Can SELL his eyelashes wei ! Like fake eyelashes ! (Shaddup. I know I look retarded. But I had to show you mel's real fake eyelashes !!!)

My favourite photo of the day !

mel can't open his eyes coz of the flash. lol !

:D :D

see the resemblance to the smileys? haha!

Happy Easter y'all !

rys

Good Friday / Easter ?? at GTPJ

Before I describe in vivid detail my evening at GTPJ, I must reenact my "interesting" experience of paying a visit to the hair saloon. Okay so this was my first time going to a hair saloon without my mother. Yes I am turning 19 this September and yes, I have led a sheltered life. Sheltered from the horrors of having to find parking, manoeuvre the car into appropriate parking position, figure out the parking metre (stupid, stupid parking metre!) and also, the mother of all horrors - pay for my own haircut. Honestly, the mere idea of having to pay for my own haircut is enough to put me off haircuts for about a decade.

I have to say, the scariest part of the entire afternoon was that I didn't go to my usual stylist in DJ. Yes I am that obsessive control freak who goes to the same stylist her entire life because she doesn't trust anyone else. Unfortunately, mother refused to drive me to DJ for my haircut and was even more opposed to the idea of me driving to DJ. I have to agree with the latter. I have a feeling that somewhere on the way to DJ, I'd somehow get lost and end up in Johor. Or Kelantan. GPS sounds like a good investment.

Desperate for a haircut, I reluctantly agreed to go to another stylist in Taman Tun instead. (I have not cut my hair in months k!) So, after lunch, I drove to the saloon and, as foretold by previous driving experiences, this one was no different - it was just as "eventful". Predictably, there was no parking. So I had to park 2 blocks away from the saloon. It's the kind of parking where cars are parked in one long line thingi.. I don't know what you call it. It's just not the slanting type!

Anyway! I found this one parking bay and attempted, in vain, to park decently. You have no idea how long I spent moving the damn car back and forth to get into that damn parking bay. Heck, I have no idea how long I spent! All I know is, it was bloody annoying. How in the world does one get the car inside and straight??? Or at least, relatively straight? I swear, after I parked, you can spot my car from a mile away because it's the only one slanting at 45 degrees.

So.. no matter how many million times I reversed and went forward, it still slanted. Damn parking ! Some guy actually stopped behind the parking slot because I presume, he stereotyped me as a typical female driver who would be too embarassed to continue in my attempts to park and drive off. Well, to hell with you and your damned parking skills !! And I don't care! I am not an easily embarassed person! Available parking is as rare as a talking doughnut ! I wasn't giving up even if I had to spend the rest of the day maneuvering the car.

Finally, resigned to the fact that my car would be the only one slanting, and aware that the guy was still waiting, I got out of the car as nonchalantly as possible and went to pay parking. There and then, I unveiled a newfound hate for parking metres. The ones in TTDI are bloody confusing !! I don't know how long I took to figure it out but by the time I was done paying, what with all the parking trauma and then confusing parking metres, I was almost too exhausted to walk the two blocks for my haircut. Bloody parking thing. I have no idea how my RM1.40 became 90 sen.

And I had no idea how long 90 sen lasts for. Reluctant to approach the parking metre to add more coins, I prayed that 90sen would somehow equal to 1 hour 30 minutes at the very least. I ran all the way to the hair saloon, right into the stylist who greeted me with something along the lines of "How may I help you, miss?" and demanded "HOW LONG CAN I PARK THERE FOR 90 SENS???!" gesturing vaguely in the general direction of my car. Taken aback, he tried to reassure me that it was more than an hour.

The guy washing my hair was really nice. I mean like, if the entire time you were washing my hair I asked you every 5 minutes if 90sens is enough would you feel like strangling me? Well, he didn't. Strangle me. He patiently gave me the same answer everytime I asked. And also patiently answered my other ten thousand questions. Like whether or not there were any trainees there. (I am not letting a trainee anywhere near my hair!)

The one who cut my hair was a woman. I repeated my instructions about ten thousand times. She still cut my hair a little too short. Other than that, it was okay. I think my haircut is okay. I don't love it, but it's alright. It's pretty much the same actually. Just.. thinner (coz it's layered now) and with a shorter fringe.

And then I paid. Seriously, ever since college, where I'm hardly ever home and having to pay for things by myself, I love going out with my parents. I take advantage. I'm a terrible, manipulative child.

After that I went home to get ready for the play that evening. Mel had invited me to his church, Glad Tidings, PJ to watch an Easter play. Actually, I'm quite confused. I swear he said Easter play, but it was on Good Friday. I'm positive it was Good Friday coz Yeelian sms-ed me in the morning, wishing me "Happy Good Friday!!". Hence the title of my post.

I took a bath, called mel and begged him to buy me nuggets before he goes to church. He gave in to my pleas for nuggets and brought some over. Then he left for church after a while because he had to go earlier to do some stuff. And instead of "goodbye" or "see you later" he went, "Don't make Saachi late ah.." I glared at him and replied indignantly, "I won't!!"

Then I got dressed and waited for Saachi. I was ready at exactly 7pm. Sach picked me up at 7.36pm. I didn't make Saachi late.

:)

We (Sach, Audrey - from his high school, Kevin - Melvin's twin and Ethan) sat down waiting for the play to begin. Saachi was randomly taking pictures with my camera. And then mel, who was supposed to be busy helping out with the play, came and sat on my left and scared the hell out of me when I turned around.

The play was good, albeit a little confusing (to me). It seemed to suggest euthanasia, but mel says it's not. Maybe it's just how I interpreted it. Anyway! For non-professional actors, I thought the acting was pretty good! The storyline was predictable, but the acting made it very interesting.

After the event, we went off for dinner at 11pm. None of us had eaten yet, except mel and me, but nuggets really don't count. Made Saachi drive us to McD, where we ordered fries and brought it over to BK. Placed my order with Sach and he claims I have a "black hole" as a stomach. Later, Nicholas (from mel's high school) came over and joined us, with a lot of very hillarious stories.

Got home around 1, took a quick shower, returned melvin's call and went to sleep.

And here are some photos. Didn't really take any good ones. And I forgot to take photos of the event. I'm a terrible photographer. Pics below were taken by Audrey and Saachi, except the ones of mel and me.

Half of Kevin

Saachi acting cute

Saachi again. Dono if he's acting cute or what.

One of the halls in GTPJ. It's really cool coz it's huge ! Got balcony thing !

Jin jang Ethan and me

me and mel

Shaddup. I know I look weird. Don't look at me, look at mel.

rys [10/4]

I hate jeans shopping !

Anyone who has hung out with me long enough would know that I am a shopaholic. I'm always, always broke, due to eating (all the time!) and shopping incessantly. On days where I'm not shopping in the malls or at bazaars .. I'm shopping online.

But if there's one thing I absolutely hate shopping for, other than presents for guys, it's jeans. I hate hate hate jeans shopping !! This explains why I seem to wear the same pair of jeans, all the time. It takes me years to find a new pair that I like.

For one thing, trying on jeans is just such an arduous task. I'm not sure about you, but I find jeans really exhausting. I don't know .. It's just something about the way jeans are all heavy and stiff and long ... and having the put them on .. zip it up and button it .. and then unbutton, unzip and take them off .. It's just all so exhausting !!! Simply typing the process out is making me feel all tired.

And it's really, really hard to find a pair that fits well on me. Plus, I don't actually know my jeans size. But my jeans almost always don't fit at the top. And they're mostly a little too long. I want longer legs.

Another thing is, I'm really picky when it comes to jeans. Actually, no.. I'm really picky with everything. Food, clothes, shoes, boyfriend, etc.. Anyway ! I only wear straight-leg hipsters that are the perfect shade of blue. Somewhere in between medium to dark blue. No funny patterns, preferably non-faded. If faded, the streaks must be subtle. The buttons and zip must be discreet and of normal colour. (I hate those bright shiny ones that stick out like a sore thumb) The thread cannot be outrageously coloured. I'm not quite sure why, but I'm seeing a lot of jeans with atrocious green or yellow threading.

So, if I do actually manage to find jeans that fit the aforementioned descriptions, it normally falls into either one of two categories. Maybe both. Outrageously priced or no size. OR outrageously priced AND no size. Is it any wonder I hate jeans shopping?

My MNG jeans will always be my favourite. The day I found it was like a dream come true. Although it's skinny jeans, and not straight cut, it fit the rest of my descriptions and it was soft and comfortable and looked fabulous. The moment I tried them on.. I knew I'd buy them even if it cost an arm and a leg. (Come on! It was totally my size and I'd been searching for a pair like these for years! Best of all, I wasn't even looking when I found it.) Then I checked the price. Originally RM199, reduced to RM55.

:D :D

RM55 for a pair of fabulous jeans !! Can you even buy jeans for RM55???

And now.. I'm hoping that the pair of Levi's I'm eyeing will magically be RM55.

While we're on the subject of clothes.. I have to say this. I hate stuff with smocked backs !! or fronts ! whatever ! I hate smocked things ! It's so frustrating ! Everytime I see a top or a dress I absolutely love.. the back will be smocked. Everything else is perfect except for the back. Which is irritating. Why can't they use side zips?? This is especially common in blog shops somehow. I keep seeing fabulous dresses with not-so-fabulous backs. Which results in me having quite an amount of clothes with horrible smocked backs.

On a different note, I want to buy a hot pink mini skirt ! Am also starting to obsess over clothes that are Victorian-esque ! I love the whole modernised Victorian style thing going on !

And have you watched Confessions of a Shopaholic? Did you see that green/white outfit Becky had at the dance with the fan and all? (Green tube top with sweetheart cut and knee length white high-waisted skirt) So gorgeous !!

I want !


rys

Pretty cupcakes !

Wheeee ..... !

I have the bestest boyfriend in the world ! =p

On jiawei's birthday, she got a whole boxful of really pretty cupcakes. I told mel after college and then forgot about it after a few days of exclaiming over the pretty cupcakes. That was nearly 3 weeks ago.

And then today.. he turned up outside my house with cupcakes from the same shop ! (Cuppacakes by Wondermilk, I think)

Apparently, he was searching for the shop yesterday but couldn't find it. So he went AGAIN today after uni eventhough he's up to his eyeballs in assignments and deadlines !!

So sweet hor ! It may not sound like a lot to you, but it is to me !

Thank you, mel !! :) :) I absolutely love it !

I'll take pics later, going to take a bath now !


rys

Hello, stranger

HELLO !! I am totally back !! After a 3 month hiatus ! I can't believe this is my first post of 2009 - 3 months after the year started. -.-" I don't think anyone reads my blog anymore.

Anyway ! It's 315 now and Melvin just called to say that I should be ready by 4. whatever ! =p I don't care !!

I'M FUCKING EXCITED !!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M GOING TO WATCH CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC IN APPROXIMATELY 4 HOURS AND 15 MINUTES' TIME !!!

OMG ! *WAVES HANDS IN THE AIR*

For those of you who do not know what I am talking about, you need to be whacked on the head with all five of my shopaholic books ! =p

Confessions of a Shopaholic is totally my all time fave chic lit book ! It's a series of 5 books (so far !) by Sophie Kinsella and I have ALL FIVE. It's totally my second religion. Not that I have a first. Religion, I mean. Ai yah I'm just speaking figuratively. You know.. To articulate just how much I obssess over those books.

I can't believe they made it into a movie! I haven't been this excited since the seventh Harry Potter book came out ! (me and yl queued for the book at 6 something in the morning and we ran like our lives depended on it when they opened the doors and we got the books first ! muahahahaha !)

I'm really, really hoping the movie will be good. Nothing beats the book, of course. But that movie damn well better be almost as good as the book !

Wheeee !

Will be back to tell you all about it !

Rys

Can you read me

Do you feel like giving up?

Tonight I do.


rys

Lets go back, back to the beginning

Hellloooo , people ! I know you missed me. =p Don't deny it wtf.

Anyway..

I'm here to...

say :



HaPpY biRthDAy ,

S U Y E E !!!

=p

Oh, and a very Happy Birthday to Sonia too! :) Hope you had a good time!



As for the lack of updates, be patient !

I am up to my ears in uni apps ! Busy, busy, busy !!


Oh. My. God.

I am totally hating the US application system now.

(Or maybe it's just my own fault for procrastinating..)

Am rushing through all the procedures and shit.


Plus, I haven't had much sleep the past 2 weeks. Have been going out almost everyday. (I really think today was my first time coming home early - bout 7pm. I can't remember the last time I ate at home, honestly.) Making the most of my pre-A2 days, okay.. =p (Holidays are coming to an end =/ ... )

The past few days have been a blur of christmas parties / thingies (wtf) and uni app deadlines. The deadlines are just around the corner and looming over me so I feel like my head is on the chopping board wtf.

My nights seems to be growing shorter and shorter - don't seem to have enough time for sleep. Even going out with melvin the past three days seem to be all about applications, applications and MORE APPLICATIONS ! (Borders - to read up on uni rankings, and college - to get my certs authenticised.)


wtf stress la. uni apps are killing me. Dying a slow death here.

fk.


Aside from the horrors of applying to US universities, I've actually been having a blast ! Will update as soon as I can. Lots to blog about ! Photos too ! Christmas deco at OU is the bomb this year ! I like ;)

Looking forward to the partying that is to come. =D

Not looking forward to christmas shopping. Yes, I know. It's ALREADY the 22nd of December and I haven't done ANY christmas shopping. wtf la. why am I like that. This happens every damn year wtf.

All I can say is, thank God for gift wrapping service.

I love gift wrapping service.

I cannot imagine life without gift wrapping service wtf.


Am starting to sound like a fruitcake. will stop expressing my admiration and gratitude for gift wrapping service.

Got to go now. Application forms to fill in and have to wake up early tomorrow for appointments to get my recommendations.

Loves,

I like ;)

I realised I haven't uploaded any photos for the last 3761751292173 posts. The past two months, my posts were all words. Had a lot on my mind, I guess.








There you go! Photo to keep you entertained ! (Because I like this one)



;)





rys

Update, Live from Beijing

Okay so the title is kinda untrue.. I DO have an update, live from Beijing. ;p On the other hand, I'm not sure if it's counted as "live" from Beijing cos this was from Saturday (Dec 13th). I wasn't in the mood to blog that day though.

Sooo.. the update is, Yeelian has arrived safely in Beijing ! (Ahem. 2 days ago.) And apparently, the first thing she saw in Beijing was Starbucks. -.-" How reflective of China. (sarcastic)

Few minutes later, she sent another sms saying:

"Geez, I must miss you. I ordered a caramel frap by mistake."

Aww.. I miss you too, sweetie ! No one to call at 11pm and have weird phone convos with. =( Anyway, bout two more days till she's back ! (or isit three?)


The guy best friend has gone back to JB and apparently has been sick with fever for about a week. Poor guy. On Saturday night, was chatting with Li An on MSN when suddenly, I received a phone call from this really weird looking number. Answered the call and without even saying hi, some male voice went, "You know what's the best thing about being home in JB?"

*10 second pause as I try to identify unknown male voice*

(Sorry lah. It takes me quite a while to recognise voices.. My ears are whacked that way.)

I finally figured it was LiAn and replied "HAAHAHA You get to use the house phone!"

Apparently, he can't be bothered to chat on MSN anymore cos his fingers are too weak from being sick wtf. So, we had a long talk on the phone. It was good, catching up with him. =)

rys

Coming to terms

Have you ever felt like you just don't know what to do anymore? That you've lost all direction? Have you ever thought and thought and thought for months on end, only to end up where you started? And now you're so sick and tired of all that thinking and lack of conclusion you just wanna go to sleep for about a year. I never thought I'd reach that point in life and yet, here I am, staring at paperclips and Common App listlessly. Yeah. It's almost fecking mid-December and I still haven't made my decision - to defer, or go according to plan.

I've been contemplating for months and yet, I've not come any closer to making my decision. Stuck. That's what I am. There's this huge part of me that's yelling at me to take that one year off, telling me that it's the right thing to do. And then, there's this other stubborn part that doesn't wanna give in - crying out for me to do as I've planned, to go ahead with what I've always wanted, screaming at me to stop being stupid and to stop filling my head with thoughts of a gap year.

If you'd asked me one year ago if I was going to take a year off, I would've laughed right in your face. I was DYING to go to New York. It was everything - everything I'd worked for. It was the one dream I've always had - the one stable thing in my life. I was so single-minded in achieving that goal, nothing else mattered.

Well. That was then. Everything changed. Because of things that happened from about mid-2007 onwards, I now question every single thing I do and I'm not as sure of myself as I was before. That goal I had, that goal I worked towards, it now seems to be something from long ago - almost like a beautiful painting, faded now, time claiming its grandeur. That dream I had, once so vivid, seems to be fading, more and more with each passing day. The ambition, the drive, the intensity I once possessed is overshadowed by doubts and fears. And in turn, I grow even more fearful as with each passing day, the space between me and my ambition, once so strong, grows deeper and darker. Afraid, as I watch it slip away from me, further into the distance. And the knowledge that it is all my own doing - or rather, undoing. That if I were just a little stronger, I would pull through.

I realised something lately. I realised that I'm a lot less intense, less competitive, less detached and not as single-minded as before. Perhaps more human. As I let that ambition slip through my fingers, I let other people into my life. Maybe it's a good thing - not being as intense as before - but I don't think it is because now I don't know what the fuck I want, and that is perhaps one of the most terrifying feelings I have ever experienced in my short 18 years of life. I have ALWAYS been a decisive person by nature, and I've always known what I've wanted, I've always been very sure of myself. Having always been a decisive person, and now, having no fucking clue, scares me more than I'm ready to admit. This is a fear that has a vice-like grip on me, it's hold never loosening. This is a fear that eats away at me, every night. And because I am, by nature, a very decisive person, losing that part of me feels like losing a part of who I am.

Whenever people ask me where I'm going, they get that standard answer - "New York." To others, I sound so assured, so decided, so settled. To my ears, it sounds like nothing more than a well-rehearsed lie. A mere facade, nothing but a farce. True, it was, without a doubt, the one thing I'd always wanted. When I first started out, the New York answer was the truth - plain and simple as that. But I guess, over time, sometimes there are truths that turn into lies. And I wonder, just how long have I been telling that lie? If I could only turn back time and find that exact moment where my reality became a lie, to find that very second I screwed my life upside down and inside out. And I wonder, is my ambition - this ambition I've had since I was fourteen - nothing more than a lie? A lie I've told so many times, I began to believe it myself.

Have I just lost a part of who I am? Somehow, it feels much more than that. Maybe all this confusion, all this indecisiveness, all this feelings of complete and utter loss of direction, maybe it's not all that. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I've changed - simple as that. I've changed over time, I've changed as I faced what I had to, I'm simply not who I used to be.

Or I'm just being stupid. This - this is what I've always wanted. This is everything. This is the one thing I've always known.

If I were to be completely honest, I guess what's holding me back is.. I'm scared. I'm not sure if I'm ready and admitting that to myself is excruciating, much less admitting this to everyone else. I feel like such a failure because all my life, I've never been one to back out of challenges, and isn't this just another challenge? In the past, no matter how tough it was, no matter how hard things were, I'd never admit that I'm not cut out for it. I don't quit. I'd rather die in a pool of my own vomit and bleed out of my eyeballs than admit that I can't do something. A year ago, you could leave me in a small, dark room with a clown and you still wouldn't get me to give up. (I'm afraid of small, dark spaces - claustrophobic, and I'm absolutely, heart-stoppingly, frozen-in-fear, terrified of clowns.)

My point is, it's painful for me to come to terms with the fact that I just might not be ready yet. That I have issues I haven't faced and that there are things I need to deal with. That if I leave in 2009, I might have another 2007 all over again. I'm afraid. And I need to be completely 100% sure that I am up for this before I leave. Because once I do, there's no looking back. That's my whole life there. And, right now, I just don't have that confidence I've always had in the past. I don't think I am ready. And knowing that hurts more than I ever imagined it would.

And so I go on telling that lie. Because, really, just how the fuck am I supposed to explain everything I've just said? And because, there's still this part of me that's unwilling to recognise it as a lie. And, well, losing that part of me, I don't really know anything anymore.

The best part is, this indecisiveness doesn't stop at my career. There's something else that's been bothering me for quite some time, and I don't know what to think anymore. I've been having so many doubts and that leads me to feeling guilty because I shouldn't be doubting this, should I? And, well, everytime I have my doubts, everytime I get upset, again, I feel like a failure because really, I should be stronger than this. I shouldn't be disappointing, again and again. Why can't I just be happy?

I know this whole post has been really ambiguous, and must be quite frustrating to read. But this has been a very difficult post for me to write as I've always been somewhat guarded with my emotions and I despise revealing any of my shortcomings. I'm a very private person and I withhold a lot of personal information - even from those closest to me. As difficult as it is for me to talk about my personal issues, I needed to clear my mind and writing seemed like the easiest way as I've always expressed myself through words.

After all this, I'm not sure if change is a good thing, really. Because, like I said, I now don't know what the fuck I want.

rys